He: Hay wassup? What thinking?

He:…Wish I could imagine what she’s thinking…

She:…Now what would I have to say?

She:…No. Why would I have to talk first? I wont!

He: Oh cummon.. listen, lets talk, or i’m gonna jump off this..
She: I don’t want to listen nothin, it must be one of your tricks.

Okay, what have you to say? ha?

Now that isn’t the way…you don’t seem to want me around anymore…

O’ Oh! I did not mean it that way… okay now come closer…

Lets say and listen later…

Now what are you fellows looking at? Go do something with yourself…

As I was busy clicking at them, the college principal came around and threw light on why my presence there did not disturb the birds. The glass I was looking through was one-way. i.e. I could see the parakeets but they couldn’t see me!

Another interesting fact the principal revealed was that the pair has been coming there ever since the library was built. Interesting choice the birds have made.

Hope you liked the narrative. I would be pleased to see your comments.

I had no idea of what the agenda of the trip was since I had been missing TM sessions for quite some time. Soon as the agenda was announced, I knew this would be fun.

The Team: Jaydas, Bharat S, Siddarth, Manasa, Neha, Antas, Ritesh, Puja, Sandeep, Moumita, Prajay, Pranshu and of course Me.

The agenda was to arrive in Nellore on Saturday the 19th of Dec, check in at a hotel and head for Audishankara college of engg & tech. Then there would be some introductions and a regular TM session and then lunch. Later in the day we would visit the Krishnapatnam port and towards the end of the day, some time at the beach and then back to the hotel, dinner and head home overnight.

This sounded simple, but less did we know that the trip would be such interesting and so much fun filled.

The fun had started already soon as we hopped on to the bus on Friday evening. The mood was set when Puja announced that there was a surprise planned. It was to be surprise, so soon every one settled down thinking they’d catch some sleep after Friday’s office. Except for Manasa, Jay, Sandeep and a few others none of us could sleep well. It was this AC 2-by-2 semi-sleeper bus. So it was obvious that we’d to only semi-sleep!

We arrived at the three-star Hotel DR Uttama. The hotel was far beyond what we’d expected, cosy rooms, hot showers, electronic keys et al. The food was especially yummy. We were to freshen up, wear the TCS-Maitree Tshirts and assemble for a buffet breakfast at 830 AM so as to reach the college at around 10AM. A few bread toasts, boiled eggs, juice glasses later, we got into two cars accompanied by the college’s ‘placement officer’ and one another gentleman.

Audishankara College of Engg. & Tech. is located some 20KM south of Nellore, right by the NH5.  The college displayed a very festive mood, a tent was erected and a red-carpet laid. I thought that they were waiting for some VIP to arrive at the event. So I got down and stood aside. But to my bewilderment, the carpet was to welcome us, Toastmasters.

Wait, that was not all… rose bouquets, Mangala Harathi, Students on either sides throwing flowers on the carpet as we walked in. I was at a total loss of words at that moment. Personally, I felt it was embarrassing, we were just a bunch of techies and not folks who won the Oscars. That kind of a welcome was too much for me to take.

After a short discussion in the Principal’s office, we arrived at the hall where the event was hosted. After the welcome speech by the principal, Jay and Siddarth opened the session with a short presentation on TM and its activities. It was announced that Audishankara would be the first college in India to have a TM club of its own.

TMOD Pranshu took over and introduced the theme of the day, ‘living in the moment’. Neha the Master evaluator, introduced her team of evaluators, Siddarth, Moumita and Manasa. While I had to be the Grammarian, Ritesh was the timer, Antas the Ah-counter. Puja gave her prepared speech to start with, then Bharat S tried to sell kittens in his ACB speech, then Sandeep shared his dream of being a millionaire.

After the evaluations, it was time for the most interesting part of TM sessions. The Table Topics. Prajay had filled several sheets of paper as a part of his preparation, and finally decided on a few very interesting topics. He set the mood saying ‘its worse not to try than to try and not succeed’ . He invited the students to join him on stage and while they hesitated, Manasa chose to show by example how to talk impromptu and how much fun it is. Then came one brave engineer-to-be and talked on ‘five things he’d take with him to another planet’ . Then came another and then another. When Siddarth gestured to windup as it was time, there was another lady who wanted to talk. This was wonderful to see. I was never so confident to talk on stage.

There was another surprise towards the end of the session. We were called on stage an felicitated with a shawl and a memento. I again thought we were just a bunch of ordinary people and why so much of…

Another surprise… this one was for the students of the college.  Srikanth Surampudi, the regional head HR@TCS, called in on phone and wished the students a very warm ‘All the very best!’. This was every bit as inspiring as the TM session itself. Later when Jay called on stage all the to-be-members of TM Audishankara, there was a crowd, believe me!

In all the TM session was rocking as always though the backdrop was new and the audience was larger than ever. After the group photo, Jay called for three cheers, and all of us huddled up for a hip hip hurray!

Sumptuous lunch was served thereafter. And we were shown around the campus. I was taken down memory lane when I saw those electronics text books in the library. Towards one corner of the library, there was something really romantic going on. You’d definitely have to see The Parakeet saga.. to know more.

We left the college and hit the road to reach the Krishnapatnam port. Its seems, the port is the biggest of its kind in south Asia. Coal and Iron ore was being loaded into huge ships. While photography was prohibited, I was told that only after I clicked these:

While we traveled away from the port and towards the beach, there were antyakshari and stories of ghosts to keep the fun on. More than half hours drive later, we reached this unexploited beach near Gudur. Water makes us all kids and so did we turn out to be. While some thought they’d better stayed dry, the others thought it was now or never. Ten minutes later all of us were wet all over anyway!

We played, we ran, we kicked and some acted as though they were swimming. What I would remember for a long time to come is the experience of returning to the hotel in wet and soiled clothes on a winter evening. What was more memorable was the amount of sand I discovered in my pants once we were back at the hotel!

We were to board the bus soon after dinner. So I and Prajay quickly browsed through the photos we shot through the day. We thought this was a trip we couldn’t afford to miss. We even shared the feeling that it would perhaps be great if we could go on more such visits in the future. Jay, are you reading?!!

We had had our dinner by the time the ladies arrived at the restaurant. You know when the ladies say fifteen minutes, its for certain that they meant fifty minutes!

Once on the bus I thought these TM folks are tired after a long day of fun, but they wanted more. It was time for Dumb-charades!

A click on the above photo will take you to more photos of the trip.

In all, I thought this TM trip to Nellore was more fun than any trip after my college.

Many thanks to Jaydas and all those who contributed to making this event such a wonderful one.

Thanks for reading. Please share your views in the comments section.

It was my third(of the 10) speech at Toastmasters today. I messed it up in a very big way. Though the topic had great depth and the concept was to suit the objectives of the third speech, I could not deliver. I was mum and blank and confused on stage. I was in a crisis and I’m out of it losing.

It happens to me sometimes. I go completely short of words, even to express some thing like “I’m hungry”. This was one such occasion.

I could not remember the words I wanted to say – prompts at lack of adequate preparation.

It did not reflect the passion with which I wanted to enact on stage. I could not animate my body, could not modulate my voice. Transition from idea to idea was shaky. There were unnecessary pauses. I could have done most of it well had I completely remembered the sequence of ideas I wanted to present.

All in all, the speech was a mess. I decided to take it up another time. I’m not in a hurry to complete my 10 speeches and apply for the CC (Competent Communicator) certification. The aim I have is to learn how to speak before the audience; Present my point with persuasion and grace, at the same time keeping it fun to listen to. I’ve a long way to go, I realized.

I’m not publishing the speech here yet. Excuse me for that. I’ll update this space after I redo the speech to my satisfaction. Till then, please read my other posts, I’m sure they’re not as dry as this one was till here.

The topic of the speech was ‘EXPECTATIONS’. On giving a little thought I discovered that all most every thing in life seemed to be based on expectations that we have. Small and big, easy and tough but we have hundreds of them lurking in our heads. Expectations play a major role when it comes to relationships.

Initially when I thought of writing a speech, I felt this was a rather serious topic. I had doubts in my head whether a serious topic like this make sense to the audience. In fact we were conditioned in the last few weeks that speeches should have a bit of humor, it makes the mood lighter and audience would enjoy it.  Anyways, I wrote the speech, I kept the examples simple, I tried to be humorous though.

The duration of the 2nd speech is TM is 5 to 7 minutes. When I practiced for the 1st time, I took 11minutes. Then I edited, practiced again, and then again. It came to about 6.5 minutes. I was okay. I prepared an 8 slide presentation too. What I thought was good about the presentation was that I would not have to rely on it when talking; I could manage well enough if it were not there at all. But the presentation would run in the background and add to the content of my speech.

One more thing,  don’t tell anyone,  I’ve secretively recorded my speech on my phone.

Listen the speech –OR–   Please download Are you Expecting.mp3

You could follow the speech reading the script and the Evaluation follows soon after.

Here comes the script of the speech:

(Slide 1)

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. Are you expecting? Madam, are you expecting? Sir, are you?

As a matter of fact, we are all expecting, we have been expecting all through your lives and we would continue to expect.

(Slide 2)

Toast master of the day, fellow toastmasters and my dear guests, today I’m here to discuss about my little theory on ‘EXPECTATION’.

(Slide 3)

Expectation, by definition is a feeling/anticipation that something is about to happen.

Expectations are very powerful. They are a source of so many emotions within us. The affect the way we work, the way we think and talk. They control the very way we exist.

Let’s see an example: Appraisal time, I prepare a perfect self evaluation and think, no doubt about it, my boss is going to have no second thoughts, and he would give me a 5. Okay, at least a 4. But my boss perhaps has different plans altogether. He thinks all that I do is just expected. He gives me a 3. I’m disappointed.

Another example: We expected that we had a meeting room arranged for TM session today. It has been, thanks to the Sergeant at arms, here we’re a happy bunch of people, learning to talk.

When we expect, it’s like we toss a coin. We’re happy if we win, not happy if we lose.

So what now?

(Slide 5)

Let’s delve a little deeper: According to me, expectations can be classified under three broad categories:

1. Expectations from self, and those from others (people, situations etc.)
2. Conscious and sub-conscious.
3. Realistic and Unrealistic.

Lets see these in that sequence.

1. From self and from others:

Usually expectations from one’s own self are pretty simple. For example, I want to be honest. I want to stay healthy and wealthy.
But expectations that we might have from others are complicated and often lead to disappointment. Farmers in India currently are dying to see rains. It rained this time last year; It rained this time three years ago, It did ten years ago; so, it has to rain this year too.That is an expectation that came out of experience and memory.


In case of expectations from people, say for example from friends & family. We expect them to behave in a certain way. You thought that guy was your best friend and when you really needed him he just was not there. Perhaps you expected too much, perhaps he never had never been that committed. It’s only you thought he was. This expectation came from your subconscious.

This brings us the next category of expectations.


2. Conscious and subconscious expectations:

We form conscious expectations when we are fully aware of the situation we are in, our capabilities and the amount of confidence we possess. If you are a shooter, like Rajyavardhan Rathore, you would expect that every bullet you shoot hits the bull’s eye. This would be a conscious expectation from you. You are prepared, you’re aware that 7 out of 10 times you shoot, you succeed. You’re in control of the situation. This is a conscious expectation.

But you send your kid to the exams. You might not have expressed it to anyone that you expect him to score a 95 in every exam he writes; but you generally expect that in your subconscious. You do not know how well prepared your kid is, you do not know if he even likes his subjects. You are not completely aware of the situation. You don’t have control beyond a point, but you still expect. Isn’t that an unrealistic expectation?

So, the next category.


3. Realistic and Unrealistic:

Most consciously formed expectations tend to be realistic.


Now, I’m giving this speech here, if I expect you to understand every bit of what I say, approve of it and appreciate it, how realistic an expectation would it be? How much more unrealistic can I get?

So what’s the bottom line?

We expect subconsciously, uncontrolled, we tend to make unrealistic expectations.

(Slide 6)

What do we do?

Simple! We could get conscious of most of the subconscious expectations we have. How? Easier said than done. Isn’t it?

Say you’re disappointed about something today. I’m sure it is because of an unmet expectation. Think about that expectation. Think about what lead to that expectation. Dig deep you’ll know more related expectations. Make a list of those. Remove the unrealistic ones in the list; I’m sure if you’d feel lot better. And not just that, you’d be prepared to learn from the situation.

(Slide 7)

From all that I said here, expectations seem to be bringing us sorrow. Are all expectations are like that? No. There wouldn’t be hope, goals and ambitions if there were no expectations. Hope is good. Isn’t it? Goals and ambitions are those that drive us in life. In fact we can’t live if we stop expecting, well both ways!

Keep expecting – but do it consciously.

(Slide 8 )

As you might now expect. I end my speech!

Over to you toast master.

————————————————————-

I did not really notice when the Green flag (after 5minutes of talking) was shown. I was shown the yellow flag (means I was 6 minutes through) when I was saying “Now, I’m giving this speech here”. My heart sank, I’d under a minute to conclude. I couldn’t really realize how fast words flew out of my mouth. It was good but I doubted if the audience thought I was too fast. “It was the Red flag (reached 7minute limit) when I was saying “Are all expectations are like that?” I quickly concluded. It was 7 minutes and 7 seconds. I was on the verge of getting disqualified.

Ah it was over. A big sigh of relief came out of me.

I had a mixed bag of feelings after wards.

I did not quite know how well I did, did it make any sense to the audience, did they enjoy listening the least bit? Expectations, you know!

Evaluation:

What was good: I was well prepared. Content was researched and organized. I used a ppt. Good examples. Use of alliterations and a few usage elements. I did not really mumble, I sounded clear.

What was bad: ppt could have had pictures. Transitions between ideas could have been supplemented with appropriate movements (body language). Connotations (might have meant different meanings to many people)

What I thought was bad: Aaghh, 830 words in all, should have been around 600-700. I was nervous (not apparently though). The topic was rather serious. I couldn’t modulate my voice much, especially when I was supposed to sound ‘funny’. The content was lengthy, not allowing room for ease of expression. I looked serious, as ever.

Apart from that, the worst part was that I had 7 long pauses (>3 or 4 seconds). This happened when I tried to recollect what came next.

FILLERS: I’d 10-ah’s  (you can hear from the speech), 1-You know, 3-now. there were 4 repeated words.

I had quite a few leanings: For the next speech, I’ve to prepare better. Less content than this so that I can breathe. I should choose a lighter topic, or audience will hit me. ppts are supposed to add color. I should practice body language. And there’s a lot more, I’ll know as I do more speaking.

If you have read till here, you have a lot of patience. Please leave your comments as to what you felt about the speech (or any aspect of if), your advice is welcome.

Ciao!