Trenchant

Are you expecting? – My 2nd Speech at Toastmasters

Yesterday, I gave my second speech at the Toastmasters Club in my office. Its such a relief that I’ve done it finally. I have been thinking of this ever since I gave my Ice Breaker speech earlier. Honestly, I could not make up my mind with a topic for the speech. Yeah, part of the reason was that I’ve not been reading enough these days.

The topic of the speech was ‘EXPECTATIONS’. On giving a little thought I discovered that all most every thing in life seemed to be based on expectations that we have. Small and big, easy and tough but we have hundreds of them lurking in our heads. Expectations play a major role when it comes to relationships.

Initially when I thought of writing a speech, I felt this was a rather serious topic. I had doubts in my head whether a serious topic like this make sense to the audience. In fact we were conditioned in the last few weeks that speeches should have a bit of humor, it makes the mood lighter and audience would enjoy it.  Anyways, I wrote the speech, I kept the examples simple, I tried to be humorous though.

The duration of the 2nd speech is TM is 5 to 7 minutes. When I practiced for the 1st time, I took 11minutes. Then I edited, practiced again, and then again. It came to about 6.5 minutes. I was okay. I prepared an 8 slide presentation too. What I thought was good about the presentation was that I would not have to rely on it when talking; I could manage well enough if it were not there at all. But the presentation would run in the background and add to the content of my speech.

One more thing,  don’t tell anyone,  I’ve secretively recorded my speech on my phone.

Listen the speech –OR–   Please download Are you Expecting.mp3

You could follow the speech reading the script and the Evaluation follows soon after.

Here comes the script of the speech:

(Slide 1)

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. Are you expecting? Madam, are you expecting? Sir, are you?

As a matter of fact, we are all expecting, we have been expecting all through your lives and we would continue to expect.

(Slide 2)

Toast master of the day, fellow toastmasters and my dear guests, today I’m here to discuss about my little theory on ‘EXPECTATION’.

(Slide 3)

Expectation, by definition is a feeling/anticipation that something is about to happen.

Expectations are very powerful. They are a source of so many emotions within us. The affect the way we work, the way we think and talk. They control the very way we exist.

Let’s see an example: Appraisal time, I prepare a perfect self evaluation and think, no doubt about it, my boss is going to have no second thoughts, and he would give me a 5. Okay, at least a 4. But my boss perhaps has different plans altogether. He thinks all that I do is just expected. He gives me a 3. I’m disappointed.

Another example: We expected that we had a meeting room arranged for TM session today. It has been, thanks to the Sergeant at arms, here we’re a happy bunch of people, learning to talk.

When we expect, it’s like we toss a coin. We’re happy if we win, not happy if we lose.

So what now?

(Slide 5)

Let’s delve a little deeper: According to me, expectations can be classified under three broad categories:

1. Expectations from self, and those from others (people, situations etc.)
2. Conscious and sub-conscious.
3. Realistic and Unrealistic.

Lets see these in that sequence.

1. From self and from others:

Usually expectations from one’s own self are pretty simple. For example, I want to be honest. I want to stay healthy and wealthy.
But expectations that we might have from others are complicated and often lead to disappointment. Farmers in India currently are dying to see rains. It rained this time last year; It rained this time three years ago, It did ten years ago; so, it has to rain this year too.That is an expectation that came out of experience and memory.


In case of expectations from people, say for example from friends & family. We expect them to behave in a certain way. You thought that guy was your best friend and when you really needed him he just was not there. Perhaps you expected too much, perhaps he never had never been that committed. It’s only you thought he was. This expectation came from your subconscious.

This brings us the next category of expectations.


2. Conscious and subconscious expectations:

We form conscious expectations when we are fully aware of the situation we are in, our capabilities and the amount of confidence we possess. If you are a shooter, like Rajyavardhan Rathore, you would expect that every bullet you shoot hits the bull’s eye. This would be a conscious expectation from you. You are prepared, you’re aware that 7 out of 10 times you shoot, you succeed. You’re in control of the situation. This is a conscious expectation.

But you send your kid to the exams. You might not have expressed it to anyone that you expect him to score a 95 in every exam he writes; but you generally expect that in your subconscious. You do not know how well prepared your kid is, you do not know if he even likes his subjects. You are not completely aware of the situation. You don’t have control beyond a point, but you still expect. Isn’t that an unrealistic expectation?

So, the next category.


3. Realistic and Unrealistic:

Most consciously formed expectations tend to be realistic.


Now, I’m giving this speech here, if I expect you to understand every bit of what I say, approve of it and appreciate it, how realistic an expectation would it be? How much more unrealistic can I get?

So what’s the bottom line?

We expect subconsciously, uncontrolled, we tend to make unrealistic expectations.

(Slide 6)

What do we do?

Simple! We could get conscious of most of the subconscious expectations we have. How? Easier said than done. Isn’t it?

Say you’re disappointed about something today. I’m sure it is because of an unmet expectation. Think about that expectation. Think about what lead to that expectation. Dig deep you’ll know more related expectations. Make a list of those. Remove the unrealistic ones in the list; I’m sure if you’d feel lot better. And not just that, you’d be prepared to learn from the situation.

(Slide 7)

From all that I said here, expectations seem to be bringing us sorrow. Are all expectations are like that? No. There wouldn’t be hope, goals and ambitions if there were no expectations. Hope is good. Isn’t it? Goals and ambitions are those that drive us in life. In fact we can’t live if we stop expecting, well both ways!

Keep expecting – but do it consciously.

(Slide 8 )

As you might now expect. I end my speech!

Over to you toast master.

————————————————————-

I did not really notice when the Green flag (after 5minutes of talking) was shown. I was shown the yellow flag (means I was 6 minutes through) when I was saying “Now, I’m giving this speech here”. My heart sank, I’d under a minute to conclude. I couldn’t really realize how fast words flew out of my mouth. It was good but I doubted if the audience thought I was too fast. “It was the Red flag (reached 7minute limit) when I was saying “Are all expectations are like that?” I quickly concluded. It was 7 minutes and 7 seconds. I was on the verge of getting disqualified.

Ah it was over. A big sigh of relief came out of me.

I had a mixed bag of feelings after wards.

I did not quite know how well I did, did it make any sense to the audience, did they enjoy listening the least bit? Expectations, you know!

Evaluation:

What was good: I was well prepared. Content was researched and organized. I used a ppt. Good examples. Use of alliterations and a few usage elements. I did not really mumble, I sounded clear.

What was bad: ppt could have had pictures. Transitions between ideas could have been supplemented with appropriate movements (body language). Connotations (might have meant different meanings to many people)

What I thought was bad: Aaghh, 830 words in all, should have been around 600-700. I was nervous (not apparently though). The topic was rather serious. I couldn’t modulate my voice much, especially when I was supposed to sound ‘funny’. The content was lengthy, not allowing room for ease of expression. I looked serious, as ever.

Apart from that, the worst part was that I had 7 long pauses (>3 or 4 seconds). This happened when I tried to recollect what came next.

FILLERS: I’d 10-ah’s  (you can hear from the speech), 1-You know, 3-now. there were 4 repeated words.

I had quite a few leanings: For the next speech, I’ve to prepare better. Less content than this so that I can breathe. I should choose a lighter topic, or audience will hit me. ppts are supposed to add color. I should practice body language. And there’s a lot more, I’ll know as I do more speaking.

If you have read till here, you have a lot of patience. Please leave your comments as to what you felt about the speech (or any aspect of if), your advice is welcome.

Ciao!